My Slow Descent Into Health

Day 3

Daaaaay 3.

Today is my birthday. I went out and had a burger and a milkshake, I ate some nachos at the movie theater, and I had a breakfast buffet. Which got me thinking- I use food as a reward in general. Isn’t that an attitude that we all kind of have? Even the other day someone said “reward yourself” after working out. I mean, she may have meant after a week of working out, but I take that as I should have a reward every time I work out, and that reward should wheel itself in and look like Friday afternoon brunch. Granted, my view is an extreme. I can acknowledge that. But the over all idea is really a terrible one. Who decided that food should be a reward and not just nourishment? CURSE THE BASTARD THAT FIRST MADE PIE!!! Pie wasn’t an “every day food” for anyone but now we have that shit snack-sized and able to fit in your purse to “reward yourself” for not fighting for that up close parking spot, and having to walk an extra two minutes, combined there and back, to the store.

Food is supposed to be (in that magical land of “supposed to be.” I’m “supposed to be” a lot of things, but let me tell you, I’ll take sex and a stiff drink over most of my “supposed to be” things any day of the week) a nourishment. Today was my birthday. I know I need to lose weight  but I still had a peppermint m&m milkshake. Why? Because “it’s my birthday.” We can rationalize all kinds of “bad” behavior if we don’t see it as “that bad.”

“My husband just went on an underway, so today I’m going to wear sweat pants, order out, and watch a million Channing Tatum movies (including “This is the End” because that was just comedic brilliance) and that’s ok because I’m sad.”

But it isn’t. I have to keep on keeping on. I have to get off the couch and do what I have to do. So here’s a list of “birthday” affirmations, and things I want for this decade of my life:

(Stolen from HuffPost “Here’s What Will Make You 10 Times More Likely To Lose Weight,” because we all (us over weight people) read those damn articles all the time. Some are complete crocks, some you can get some good stuff from.)

I will honor my values: I value the example I lead in life. I value what I choose to put out in this world. I value having the ability to do what is necessary to accomplish my goals. (and more but let’s stick to the point)

I will master the math. I will research a good diet, I will go talk to my doctor and I will honor what plan we come up with to get through this.

I will eat more often. When I get overly hungry I don’t give a shit what goes in my mouth. I need to make more snack bags and actually bite the bullet and carry them with me.

“I will be the little dieter that could.” (Hey HuffPost, could we condescend a little more? I don’t think you quite hit the mark here.) ::sigh:: But I get your point. I need to have some self efficacy and believe that I can resist the urge to buy Fritos and Onion Dip.

So to the big 3-0! Maybe you bring up’s and down’s, just not on my scale. May things be fun and exciting, just not always at the same time. May this life be an adventure, and may I learn on the way.

Signing out.


One comment on “Day 3

  1. Erika McNamar
    December 20, 2014

    I’m sad you watched my boyfriend without me! Haha, hope the rest of your birthday was fabulous!


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