My Slow Descent Into Health

Day 4

I once watched a Jenna Marbles video on “goo hoarding” and how we females are very much guilty of this attribute. (If you haven’t seen it, look it up. It’s on point.) Well, over weight people tend to have a similar attribute. We hoard “exercise paraphernalia.” We shall dub this “EP” (pronounced “eep”). I have EP of all kinds. My neighbor (fitness enthusiast) came over once and actually got excited looking at some of my EP like, “You have this?? Do you know how much you can do with this??!” 

Short answer: Yes. That’s why we buy it. Every piece of EP out there has promises to be Britney Spears (current Britney, not 2007 Britney) by the end of one work out, or drink, or pull up. Let’s go through my list.

I have: An elliptical, a treadmill, 3 lb weights, 6KG weights, (all that came with our villa and of course we deemed those “MUST HAVE’s” for our place when we were searching), Zumba for xbox one (I also have Just Dance 4, Michael Jackson Experience, and sports), P90x, Insanity (we might have T-25), I have an elastic band thingy with handles, a 100lb punching bag (but that’s back in the states right now), I have a pull up bar that goes on your door although it goes over none of mine (too wide), I have chocolate and strawberry protein mixes, I have three different diet pills (at least), a juicer, and last but not least, I just won a sample of Shakeology.

You can’t imagine the blank expression on my face looking at that like, “Yup. I have those.” I have all that EP and I am still over 200 lbs. And not in a muscular way either. Though looking at that list, you’d think I was training for cage fighting. *

The intention is there folks. It really is. And I don’t have a good grandiose reason why I’m not using them. Too busy? Yes and no. Would I rather just order a burger and fried with that onion and thousand island dressing from EZ Burger. You bet your ass. But instead of being ok with the weight in my stomach after eating everything I love, I need to be ok with the sore of my muscles after making myself get on with using some of that EP I’ve accumulated. And then enjoy a GHATDAMMED salad.

Ok- Today I did 30 minutes of yoga (Yes, fat people can do yoga. It happens to be what I’m best at actually. I’m a very flexible fat gal.) And I did two miles on my elliptical. I ate this Mexican mix of salsa and quac for breakfast (it was in my fridge, don’t judge me), a grapefruit, a couple hot dogs for lunch and this peanut satay pasta that was mostly veggies and black beans, and the pasta was whole wheat. According to the package that means a whole lot. Still more coffee than water but more water than yesterday. I took my vitamins.

Signing out.

*I think I’d be a badass cage fighter. I’m kind of scrappy. Just, in a marshmallow way at the moment.


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