My Slow Descent Into Health

Day 11 (on a serious note)

I really wish cleaning counted as working out. I swept and mopped my villa today and I’m telling you, that should count as an hour on an ab ripper. On that note- I wanted to bring light to something that I think people will have different opinions on but I’ve found to be true in my experiences as a fat productive person.

Again, I am not speaking for everyone, this is a generalization, but I’ve noticed that if you’re fat, no one expects you to be smart, productive, clean, or a good parent. Now, if you watch that terrible show Hoarders, I will digress that a good percentage of those people are also fat. But they have a legitimate mental illness. Being fat is not a mental disability. It’s an emotional addiction to salty/sweet goodness as a comfort. It’s a mental masterbation if you will, when you get a chance to sit and just enjoy whatever food or drink you are craving at that moment, It’s a high. You’re sad, you eat. You’re happy, you eat. You just finished cleaning your six bedroom, six bathroom, three story villa? Get yourself a ghatdamn Snickers* lady, you earned it. You aced your exams? Go out for a fancy dinner. It goes back to the reward system.

This in itself should show that being fat and being lazy/dumb are not mutually exclusive. 

Every time that I talk about history, talk about different mental illness I’ve learned about in classes, talk about my general grades, I almost always hear, “How do you know all this?” or a general statement of surprise. If I could slap people with out going to jail, and then just sit and politely explain why these questions are asinine, I feel like the world would be a better place. But I can’t so maybe I can bring some awareness this way. If I were skinny and dressed the way I dress, (casual but classy) I know that I wouldn’t get these questions. When I was thinner and at court with a friend, I was approached twice and asked for legal advice as though I were a lawyer.

If you know someone who is fat, please do not assume they watch tv all day. Do not assume their kids watch tv all day. Do not assume that they don’t work out, diet, or don’t have this weight on them all the time physically and mentally.  We are aware we are fat. We are aware it is a problem. If skinny was easy, we would all be skinny.

It’s still before dinner, and I will get on the elliptical today for a half an hour. I had left over kabob for breakfast, a carrot, grilled salmon, and some hard boiled eggs for lunch, and I’m making a roast chicken for dinner. I’ll have broccoli on the side and cooked carrots. I need to go shopping. I’ll make potatoes or rice on the side for the family. I won’t have that though. I think I can be satisfied with the meat and veggies.

Signing out.

* or three.


2 comments on “Day 11 (on a serious note)

  1. Lindsay
    December 27, 2014

    I agree with so much that you have said (written). When I was a little girl, all the happy times with family and friends all involved food. Whenever all the family got together, we ate, and we ate big. So now, I have to remind myself that doing things with the people I love, does not have to involve food. When we get together we CAN do other go to the beach, or a park..not simply sit around a table and eat and talk.

    You are so right, being overweight is not a mental is truly emotional and habitual, if you will, for me at least. I am a very productive person, work hard as a mother, volunteer all the time, working on my masters degree, cub scout leader, etc…but why can’t I overcome my eating issues? I have to find a way to reward myself with something other than food. De-stress myself with something else other than food. Celebrate the good times by doing something other than eat.
    Great post, have enjoyed your postings thus far! Good Luck! you are doing great. 😉


    • Noel Marie Ross
      December 27, 2014

      Thank you! I really appreciate the support and it’s always better knowing we are not alone. This is definitely a habitual fight, and it is not easy!! Feel free to share this if you want to let your loved ones know that this is normal, and you are aware and trying. That’s all we can do. Every day I have to commit myself again. It is a fight! I’m pulling for you, we are smart, educated, amazing women. There is nothing we “can’t” do.


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