This morning I woke up, and all but had to force myself to go work out. I was cutting close to the time I’m supposed to show up and everything. The motivation was severely lacking on my part. When I got there Bad Ass told all of us that we were running a 5k. If I’m going to be honest about all of this, this is where I need to really kick it in, even though it isn’t flattering or sound good for me.
My first thought was “nope.” From the moment she said that I had next to no intention of running the whole 5k. The thoughts I had were essentially along the lines of, “I am not a runner. If I was a runner, I’d be at home on my treadmill, running.”
I ran in spurts here and there, but mostly I walked. I walked about joked with a friend about how I wasn’t wearing the right amount of bras.* We talked about tv, and food, and habitual eating. I thought I was going to come up with some gold for you guys, but honestly, fatty to fatty, I didn’t push myself at all. When I got back, Bad Ass saw right through it, and pretty much said I had wasted a work out. Which I did.
I woke up with no intention of motivating myself. What kind of shit is that? I can’t expect Bad Ass to be my Mommy and make me do everything every step of the way. I need to wake up and be ready to push! I need to want this more than I fear it.
(This is painful, being all public with my shortcomings. Let me be honest.) The rest of the day I did the self defeating attitude of “I start my real diet on January 1st, and I already had a bad start to today,” so I had pizza for lunch. I had a couple eggs for breakfast, and I am having a chicken and lamb grill for dinner minus the bread. I had enough bread today.
Now before the comments come in of, “oh we all have bad days,” I know, I know. This is just, public, and altogether a self defeating attitude. I am obviously okay, I just can’t continue to be “okay” with these kinds of slip ups if I am going to succeed at this in the long run.
On the positive side, husband set up the bikes so that we can all go as a family. Then we took a short ride to test it all out. We have to get my daughter a new bike, but all in all, it’s a feasible and awesome thing to do with the family that is active, outside, and has nothing to do with food.
*Two to be exact. I should have been wearing two.