My Slow Descent Into Health

Day 30 (One month of blogging!)

Can you believe it’s been a month already?? I can but I can’t. It feels like I’ve been working out and dieting forever, but I also realistically realize this is just the beginning. If I want lasting change, this is pretty much the lifestyle. I’ll never be one of those naturally thin women. I have to work for it.

Things that have changed in the last month*:

• Some clothes that I couldn’t get into at the beginning of blogging, I can get in now. Granted, I’m still a sizable chunker, but I can get into my XL’s and get out of my actual “plus size” clothes and that feels good. Not great, but it’s a damn good start.

• My butt has lifted a little. Squats, squats and more squats. And then squats with weights. And then thrusters with weight. Yes, yes and yes please. Bring on the booty!!

• The energy I have is still a huge thing to me. I have never ever ever in my life had energy. I am not a morning person. My oldest has actually muttered the words, “Don’t talk to her yet, she hasn’t had her coffee.” Now I wake up, bouncy, happy, and ready to go. It almost feels like my body had been abducted by aliens, fixed and given back. Except they forgot a few things, so I have to keep working. And I don’t think there are any alien abductions. But that’s totally off topic.

• I haven’t gotten to the “work out is my addiction” phase, but it is getting easier to go more days than not. My biggest issue in the morning is figuring out what to wear in a timely manner. The good news? The girls I work out with, I’m pretty they don’t care. A few of them have said “If your hair looks good by the end, you’re not working hard enough.” There’s something incredibly liberating about that.**

These women I work out with encourage me, believe in me, and cheer me on. They see I’m struggling with things and they uplift me, or tell me to shut up and do it. They make me want to be better. There are few moments in life you can say that about people honestly. With out that brutal honesty, and encouragement, and cheer leading, and sympathy, I think this would be a harder endeavor. And it’s hard enough.

• I can see the results so far, but I don’t think the rest of the world can yet. It hard to be only one that knows that this roll is smaller, or these underwear fit better, or these sleeves were tighter. These are small differences, and as hard as it is to not burst at the seams and scream “It’s working m*ther f*ckers!!!!” I can’t. Not yet. The theory is a few more weeks, and the world will start to notice. I can not wait.

Taking a break from the food logging. It was all on par with the challenge, and it was a good amount. Chicken, veggies, eggs, yadda yadda. Had deviled eggs for breakfast with the new mayo, that was amazing.

Work out today was essentially the devil. But I finished. I accomplished it. It took me fifty minutes, and everything was jello, but it was the best feeling in the world when it was over. 30 burpees, 30 push ups and 30 squats as the warm-up, 30 kettle bell swings, 30 burpees, and 30 sit ups with a medicine ball repeated five times for the work out.

The. Devil.

Signing out.

*besides the diet changes and the working out.

** Doesn’t mean I don’t dress well and stuff for the rest of the time, but this is just one place where it really isn’t about how well you match or if you’re hair is done. I like that shit.

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