My Slow Descent Into Health

Day 58

Day 58 has been a hard day for me for multiple reasons. I’m going to say that every once in a while* I have days where everything gets to me, I’m on the verge of tears and all I actually want to do is curl up in a ball in my bed all day. Within minutes of waking up I knew today was that day. This morning I woke up to finding out that the daycare at my work out was full.** I had care set up for getting my hair done this afternoon, but was not prepared for that this morning. So I slowly got up, ate breakfast, had coffee, and got ready for the hair appointment.

I brought my six year old daughter to the hair appointment. I really only regretted the decision for the car ride there as she comments on everything and my tolerance level is low today. But I was gracious, entertained her, and she had a great time at the salon. I’m calling that a win.

At the salon I got a touch up on my purple, and I had to get my hair cut. This is always a fear for me, especially when it’s the first time someone is cutting it. Luckily,*** it turned out really well. But of course, hormones, which are evil little assholes inside a woman’s body, won’t seem to let me be up today.**** So I’m really only sad about not having super long hair still. The hair feels healthy, the cut is nice, and the women at the salon are amazing and I look forward to getting to know them more! I should be happy!! And yet, I still want to curl up in my bed, and eat cake and ice cream and wait for the storm to pass.

Also, on these days I would walk through fiery glass to have my husband home. You know that person that just loves you for you and not because they want anything? That person that makes you feel valued even when you’re down and out for the day? That’s my husband all day. That man is amazing. But today he isn’t here.*****

On that note- breakfast was healthy eggs, lunch was fried chicken and cole slaw, and I don’t even know what’s for dinner yet so probably not anything good. Don’t judge me.

The good news- I do feel really off since I didn’t work out yet today. I genuinely feel jittery like I need to just run. So tomorrow I probably pick myself up and run in the morning. Throw in some squats and push ups and more. I’m thinking about getting up before the kids do and just working out. I need it.

Signing out.

*Maybe once a month, give or take.

** Didn’t cry. Wanted to, but didn’t.

*** And gratefully

**** MY BODY TURNS AGAINST ME, ONCE A MONTH MY BODY DECIDES THAT IT HATES ME AND TRIES TO TELL ME WHY I SHOULD HATE ME TOO. IT IS EVIL. WHAT THE HECK BODY. WHAT THE HECK.

***** Whomp whomp.

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