My Slow Descent Into Health

Day 71

Parenting is probably the hardest job I’ll ever do. I can go to a spa all day (I did) and try to relax and forget about the world, but when I get home, I have three little people that all have three different stresses and they bring all that home and look to me for guidance. In my head, I’m sitting here like, “Kid, I haven’t figured out my own life yet,” but I know that isn’t a viable answer. End of story, small buses with a wide age gap between the kids equals trouble. Parents forced to work together based on geological location can mean trouble. Kids that are having a hard time with life are more than willing to lash out at other kids, and all these kids have been moved around and are usually missing a parent for periods of time, can also equal trouble. I try my best to be understanding, and just protect and be there for my own, but holy hell guys. Sometimes it feels a little ridiculous.

Long story short, I’m going to try driving my kids to school for a short time and see if that cuts out some of the bullshit. I don’t know yet how that’s going to affect my work out schedule, but being a responsible adult and parent has to come first. Worst case scenario, I move my work out to nine am. That’s not terrible, but it’s not ideal either. We’ll see how it goes.

On a positive note- the spa was great. This is one of the things the Middle East does right. Spas have competitive pricing and so amazing things like Moroccan baths only cost a whopping fifteen dollars or so. I spent two hours getting waxed, scrubbed and polished, and with out the tip and such, it would have cost me under forty U.S. dollars. The women that work at my spa are amazing as well. I’m kind of an odd bird sometimes, and when getting waxed, or getting scrubbed in odd positions* I laugh and joke. I can’t help it. I know waxing hurts, but the fact that I’m voluntarily signing up for the pain and the distinct possibility that this makes me a masochist just makes me giggle.

Today I ate well. Again, eggs for breakfast, for lunch I went out and had a steak, asparagus and a salad. For dinner I’m about to make myself a salad. I made the kids some wings, green beans and corn on the cob.

Today I avoided the overwhelming urge to get to coffee at Starbucks, and the overwhelming urge to take a night and get a little wine.

Side note- I will be taking a day off in a little over a week. My husband asked me to have a date with him, and go to a brunch and just have fun. So I will be ending this “whole30” early. However, my plan is to go essentially right back on it, and see if I can do it a week at time so I don’t crash when it’s over again. I have to figure out a stable diet for me that I can control. I recognize that I have a serious problem with food, so I just need to develop a system of sorts. I may have to do many more “challenges,” and that’s okay too. The point is developing the habits, and I’m not going to beat myself over the process. I’m just going to continue in ways I know work for me. And that’s okay.

Signing off.

* I have actually said, “Scrub me like one of your french girls, Jack.” and they totally laughed at my joke. So much fun when I’m there. A good friend that went with me a lot before moving back to the U.S. actually made even better jokes like, “You need to be careful or that’ll give you a black eye!” or something like that. Omg, we laughed so much together. Many, many tears of joy. I miss her.



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